I am unhappy,

20 December 2007

there I wrote it down.

Now what?
I don't feel any happier. I don't feel better.
Am i really unhappy? I just feel weird. I don't smile, I'm just here. I could burst into tears at the slightest anything.
Am I sad? Yes, but why?
I am alive
I am healthy
I am getting my diploma tonight
I bought a gorgeous dress yesterday
I feel I do not contribute as much as the others at work and at school
I feel people do not respect my judgement
I feel people will always try to take advantage of my good nature
I feel so frustrated
I am cold
I have no money to spend
I don't feel safe,
I don't want to die
but I also don't want to live like this
I feel underappreciated
and rejected
I feel like people walk in and out of my life like it's nothing. They treat me as though I will always be there. Take all their shit and bad treatment and say and do nothing.
But then again who's fault is that? Mine of course. I let people treat me this way.
So I stopped it
You treat me like shit, I no longer see you.
It's that easy.
The only thing that bothers me about this is the fact that I truly have a talent to attract those types of people. Because everyone I meet I have to put out at some time.

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