The Nazi versus Tucker my take on dr. Bailey's decision and Tucker's reaction

17 January 2008

I watched a powerful episode of Grey's Anatomy yesterday.
It was a two part episode, but the name is unknown to me.
During the episodes all our favorite doctors were in highly stressful situations, having the lives of others literally in their hands. I watched Meredith's sister struggle to save a young man, while she herself had just received an emotional blow to her heart.
I watched Dr. Yang and Dr. Bailey struggle to save the life of a proud racist, putting themselves second and the life of this man first. etc.
In the end they all resorted to prayer, that's all they had left, after hours of toiling away giving their all to save the lives of their patients.
And still after all was said and done, there was no climax in the end. No victory over a life saved. Because in the process they had lost so much.

I really felt for Dr. Bailey, but I also felt for Tucker. I have more or less been in both situations before.
I have been the one who is always waiting, feeling like my feelings don't matter. Like everything else is more important.
I have also been the ambitious one, giving my all to my work. My all to not let my colleagues down, keep my promises, not miss my deadlines.

I can understand the drive the emotional war that goes within a person when he/she has to choose between the person they love and the job they love doing.
I can understand being in a situation where you have made all these promises to people and now you will have to choose which ones to keep and which ones to break.
You have to choose who to let down.

I asked myself countless times, who I would have chosen. And the truth is after all my considerations and knowing what each of them was feeling, I have to choose the job.

His live was in her hands, plain in simple.
I could not and neither would she, be able to live with myself if I knew that a person died because of me. And I also know that that relationship would continue to suffer even if I had chosen him. That death would be between is forever. The blood would have stained all that was pure in our love for each other.
In the end I would be alone, and there would be no glory, no pat on the back, there would be nothing but the hope that I did the right thing.
And me accepting that I am only human, and so is he.
Where we go from there, I don't know.
But what about the future is certain anyways?

1 spoke to me:

ris said...

hi shanti, thanks for dropping by! i love grey's anatomy too, i breathe it. hehe. i've watched all 4 seasons (or 3, whatever's the latest) and im still waiting for the new season to come out. :)

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