The days of my discontent

23 May 2008

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to take this.
It's hard yes. And it effects me greatly. I feel stuck and I know the situation will not improve any time soon.
I'm stressed, i can feel in my body. My back pain, shoulders and arms. It doesn't go away.
And it has gotten progressively worse.

My mom just got demoted.
Which a new position, in a new location, with a much lower salary. And it is a significant decrease.
What makes it worse is that she needs the money now more than ever.
Just 2 months ago she got a loan to get the house fixed. Some much needed home improvement and adding a second bathroom for ease.
She was feeling so confident and things were going good. And now this.
Paying for said loan will cost her 66% of her salary per month for 20 years.

Needles to say I feel a bit of pressure, a bit unsafe and very much worried.
I want to help but already 60% of my salary goes to pay for school. And I know I will not be receiving any significant salary increases any time soon.
And the icing on the cake is of course the knowledge that my job is not safe.
My company is not doing so well at the moment and I already came so close to losing my job because of downsizing.

I feel uninspired because I know no amount of input will get me the salary I require.
I feel depressed and hurt and yet I feel I wil survive this. But isn't necessarily a good thing. The future seems so grim at the moment that I believe not to survive this ordeal would be the better outcome.

1 spoke to me:

Lynda Lehmann said...

Hang in there. I'm sure things will get better. They usually do. Maybe new doors will open for you and your mom in the coming weeks!

I wish you good fortune and relief from your stress....

*Seeking*Serenity* - Made free by Free Blog,SEO Created by Diznews Online
by TNB