I really need to de-stress myself

26 August 2008


I have been putting too much pressure on my own performance and as a result I can't focus and I am failing at mundane tasks. Tasks that took me minutes now take way too much time to finish because I put way to much stress upon myself to perform at 110%.
And this is causing me more stress. Because now I am more prone to making mistakes. Rookie mistakes even, embarrassing mistakes. And when I make these mistakes I usually get called on it in the worst ways. And at the worst times. It's like every mistake I make gets put on blast and then I off course put more pressure upon myself to perform better.
So end up in the cycle of stress that is very and I mean very bad for my health.
I need a vacation but I don't have any vacation days. The only day I can probably get off is on my birthday. But that is weeks away. I need rest now!

It's time to de-stress before I end up like my friend. She was coughing up blood and has problems with her leg and is getting worse. I don't want to end up like her so I am stopping all this stress right now.

-No more pressuring myself to write and finish reports when I know people that can help me. Reports are usually done in groups. I should stop taking on so much work when it is supposed to be a group effort.
-No more putting pressure on myself to make deadlines that are impossible to make. I need to space out my exams. Do a few in the 1st round and the rest in the second. I'll hold on to my sanity that way.
-No more trying to be nice to everyone. Some people don't like me, deal with it.
-No more putting myself last. When I'm hungry I'm hungry, when I'm tired, I'm tired.
-No more trying to compete with others.
-No more trying to overachieve at work. I always get sidelined no amount of input will get me what I deserve. People that work harder than I do get sidelined as well so.
-No more trying to help everyone that asks me. If I can't, I truly just can't. It's okay to say no.

I've finally found reasons to make myself a better person than I have been. But that starts with putting myself first.

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